Wishing my Old Life Back

I was never born a believer, but I was a dreamer.

I dreamed of being in places, experiencing new things, meeting new people…but I never believed I could do that. I dreamed of making in big in my career and having the best job I could have…but I never believed I could have that. I always always dreamed of finding that one true love..but I never really believed that it existed.

I am the one who settles… the girl who’ll make most of what she’s stuck with. Though most would think otherwise, I never complained about my job. Sure it got to a point that it has been too tiring and too overwhelming, but I never complained I couldn’t do anymore additional job if another was given to me. I’d get that with open arms. The thing with jobs is that people never make it their own. They just pass it on to you. They give the job to you when they’re supposed to do it. Me, I was a different spirit. I owned my job. Somehow, so sickening as it may sound, I loved my job then. It was crazy and unbelievable and so tiring you couldn’t even shout to let go of a scream. But I loved it anyway.

I miss my old place...my old job. I was practically up there... The non-executive boss who works only when she wants to and drives her staff mad to meet deadlines. The girl who gets her way when she wants coffee from a fellow manager (no less) and asks for a certain food to be served for lunch. The person passionate about creating change... the one who believes that people need to be unstuck to get to where they should be. I miss preaching my staff never let anybody let them down. Not even me.

I'd like to believe that I was a good boss. I'd like to believe that when I left, they all learned something from me. And that I am that hard to forget. (oh yeah, I am that confident)

And strangely as it seem, I actually miss my old bosses (plural, I can't really count how many they were). I was a good assistant... the most highest paid clerk one could be. I was underpaid, but there was a sense of being wanted.

I look back where I came from and I am amazed to realize where I am now. Every moment, every pain, every challenge.. every bit of that was what led me here. I was one of the lucky few who was given this chance in a silver platter. Call it fate. Call it destiny. Call it pure luck. I was there at the right place at the right time... and I got invited to come here. So here I am.

It's funny...people want to get out from where they are stuck. And when they are finally out of the hole, they keep wishing they're back.

I will forever be thankful for the wind that brought me here.